the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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