I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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