quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
