oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Everything about him screamed your future.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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