hotel room ftw
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
