Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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