Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
