i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
