It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
