I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
