My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
