You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
