i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
