Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
