guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize