No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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