I'm gonna have a badass scar
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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