this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize