her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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