I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
