instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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