My room smells like vodka and shame
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
