I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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