I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
