the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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