do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
