check it out our google latitudes are spooning
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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