respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
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he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana