Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(424): View more from California

It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.

Fav 2 1107 1383
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica

Fav 10 4948 1709
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now

Fav 29 5616 1876
share tweet
(661): View more from California

I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me

Fav 25 11669 1437
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.

Fav 6 2683 1645
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.

Fav 14 3213 2013
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(971): View more from Oregon

Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?

Fav 8 1610 997
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.

Fav 2 707 498
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea

Fav 0 164 176
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT