You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
