just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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