You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
