covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
