Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
