so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
