he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
