i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
