id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
