please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
