i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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