idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
