So drunk its hurt
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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