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At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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