oh god the rape fog is back!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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