If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
