According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
