Can i not drive my cunt home
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
