Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
