Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
