That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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