dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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