He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize