I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
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I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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