please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize