He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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