He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
