there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
