Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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