yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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