we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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