I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
