He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize