Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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