It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
