You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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