I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's never too late to be topless.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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